Thursday, April 14, 2016

Come like hope again

It's been really difficult to write on Run With Me as of late.

I keep coming back to this place and opening up a blank page and just nothing seems to come.

 This space used to serve as a distraction and an outlet in all seasons of life. The past couple months have been incredibly challenging and hard and sad. I find that the things I hold most dear, I am no longer so anxious to share in public. I'd rather keep them close to my heart instead. 
girl, apple, and bed image

I've even thought long and hard about perhaps retiring Run With Me but, I don't think I'm quite ready to say goodbye to this place I've called mine for 7 years now. Sunday will mark 7 years that I started Run With Me.   


I've been looking back on posts from just a year ago and am so fascinated at the person I find there behind the words. It seems I do not know her. A girl so intent on staying busy, on having plans, on making things happen in her life only to realize she could not. 




I've been learning a lot these past few weeks, mostly about patience, and God's timing, about waiting for the desires of your heart. 


Waiting is a word that has such a terrible connotation to it these days. We're such a non-wait culture. We encourage each other to move on to the next so quickly, convincing one another there's something better if we just press on, that blessings are certainly not found in the silence. 


But what if they are?


I've found that sometimes someone or something captures you so deeply, it becomes worth the wait. 




So, I'm learning patience. Which means most days I go kicking and crying to the place of understanding this is a time of patience. I can be a slow learner. :)


And more than that, more than the wait. I'm learning trust in a plan and timing that may not be my own. Which is hard for me. I've always been a "work hard and achieve your goals" kinda girl. Instant gratification. This is why me and microwave meals were tight friends for so long. 


  


Charles Stanley said that a problem will usually challenge our faith in some way. And my mom said that it's usually when we give something over to God and trust Him with it, that's when He gives it back to us. Mom and Charles...my fridge is literally sticky-note-littered with their wise statements! Learning trust. 


And let me tell you, calculus and economics are way more fun lessons to learn than patience and trust. But are probably lessons I'll actually use in life. 

Admittedly not the most "fun" post to mark 7 years, but a glimpse into life lately. 



Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through this trial
Come like hope again.

  XO, A

10 comments:

Katie said...

Wow. Has it really been 7 years?! That's such a long time and so many stories. I understand what you mean about not wanting to be so public about some things. I look back on some of my past posts and cringe because I now have publicly shared that with the world but yet I don't want to delete or edit them. It's a weird thing to find balance. Lately I have been having the same problem as you. So badly wanting to share but staring at a blank page trying to figure out what to say. I know that I've missed your posts and I always read them and check every single day mulitple times for a new posts (I guess I'm kind of your stalker...) and I enjoy reading whatever you write, no matter what it says or how much.

I hope you never retire Run With Me because I'm really thankful for it and that it made us friends and it's the only blog I check. I love you lots and lots and I'm so excited for your birthday. I'm looking forward to talking tonight! I've missed you! I am gonna go driving & try to workout when I get off work but I should be done before you get out of pure barre. I love you!!!

Happy 7 year blog anniversary!

Katie said...

I'm also really proud of watching you grow these past few years & walking out life with you. You are different than just the last year and I'm proud of how far you have come. And you are much better for it. <3

Ginger said...

I knew; I just knew.

Katie said...

Also, a couple side notes as I wait for my mom to get out of the store...

1. Our 4 year friendiversary of when we first "met" is on May 25th. Crazinesssss. We should celebrate. I'll be in Maine that day so I'll try to go to the Ocean for us haha.

2. That picture from last year, you look so different! And, totally honestly not just saying cause you are my friend, you look even more beautiful now. Seriously all the pictures you've sent me recently you have looked stunning. Getting better with age like the best cheese.

Whit said...

Love this post...and you....last year...two years ago and now! Patience SUCKS but we can help each other through these times and keep our eyes up, right? I need to see you! Miss my Ash.
Thanks for such a raw blog and for helping me to remember your mom's and Mr. Stanley's words...off to sticky note my fridge! Xoxo

Whit said...

Love this post...and you....last year...two years ago and now! Patience SUCKS but we can help each other through these times and keep our eyes up, right? I need to see you! Miss my Ash.
Thanks for such a raw blog and for helping me to remember your mom's and Mr. Stanley's words...off to sticky note my fridge! Xoxo

P!nky said...

Love you sweet friend. Learning patience is super hard for sure, I hate it. But, He has something amazing planned for you. Seven years, WOW!

BLovedBoston said...

Seven years...wow girl, that's amazing!! I hope you aren't ready to retire this space of yours...while I don't know exactly what you're waiting for and what's challenging you - I know you can handle it! xo, biana -BlovedBoston

Caley-Jade Rosenberg said...

So so incredible my friend!
What a journey you have been on and an amazing path you are now on. I am so grateful for you and your creative blogging space for bringing us together and I would hate to see you retire. Our lives have all changed and shifted so much - but all for the better! And what an adventure that awaits ahead x

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