Monday, July 13, 2015

Enough

I'm from a relatively small town. And despite lacking any athletic skills or high school homecoming queen honors, I grew up feeling pretty darn cool. And confident. And pretty.

A new shirt from the Express in the mall an hour away and some old navy shorts and you were keeping up with the Jones'. It was fantastic. 
My most favorite Express tank 


And then I moved to Atlanta

And while I love this town, it unknowingly aroused a struggle in me that's always been a Lochness below the surface of life and one that unleashed it's fury in my mind. 

And that would be the struggle of being ENOUGH

♥

Some may call it comparing, I call it overly perceptive....but whatever name you give it, it doesn't take girls long to notice how they differ from the crowd. And for many there is a strong pull to be part of the crowd. To be the same. To be accepted. 

Most of the girls here are Polly Pocket size...well except for their chest ...those are more Barbie size. But INSANE bodies....it's like Atlanta fought a world war against cellulite and it's not allowed in this zip code. 


I  Wednesday-Adams'd some pics to protect the innocent side-boobed. 

And tiny, tiny clothes..which I actually can't even fault them for. When your spandex doesn't have to span or dex it's actually a quite attractive fabric. 

And confidences as deep-rooted as if they look in the mirror and see Giselle Bundchen. Hair twirls and on-cue giggles and small talk for days. Eyelash extensions, hair extensions and spray tans that are part of every day grooming and not for their God-intended use of weddings or prom. Uber is their taxi for life and money is as free-flowing as the mimosas on the ever-popular "Sunday Funday." 




And such gracefulness. I mean these girls can get down and funky with the highest heels and have the saunter of a pageant queen. Last  week I turned away from a group conversation and ran directly into a pole. Remember Jessica Alba's character in Good Luck Chuck...yeah, that's my life. 

 

Before you know it, you're slapped in a picture in between Double D Marie and Kissy Lips Lauren and you begin to wonder why would anyone ever choose you over them? 

You're not as funny. Not nearly as pretty. Not half as skinny. I mean, you basically could eat her.

And the "not, not not, not, nots" fill your head. And replace everything about who you are, with what you're not. 

I know the things I'm supposed to say here. I'm supposed to say that we're all beautiful and created uniquely and to not let the opinions of others determine your self-worth. But sometimes when it seems you live in a world where the not-so-uniques are the more desired it can be hard to believe.
Mirror image

 I love this video by Lauren Scruggs. It's long but every time I watch it, it reminds me who I am. And it replaces those thoughts in my head about everything I'm not with all that I am.

After everything she went through, feeling the same insecurities so many of us do, her message is so beautiful: 
"Our Appearance....Even insecurities that we may hold on to....Do Not Define Us."




It's so much easier to play "put together" on social media than it is to say whoa here's this big ugly side of me. So thanks for letting me pretend today that we were all sitting on a big comfy futon, fresh off a round of Mall Madness and having some real talk . 

From inside my head....over and out.  

XO, A

5 comments:

Caley-Jade Rosenberg said...

What a great post - I often feel like this too! It sucks how a society can often rule your head and your mind - and often this leads to body and heart too! You are one gorgeous lady - both inside and out! x

BLovedBoston said...

Such a powerful post girl!! I love that video from Lauren - she's such a strong woman!! As are you my dear! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

Katie said...

Those women may seem flawless, cellulite free, bleach blonde Betty Boops but honestly you are just as good as them. You have a good job, you are smart and good at what you do. You are beautiful. I swear your family is the family of gorgeous genes. I'd love to have naturally dark hair like yours. You are tall and skinny and girl don't wish for the short person life. You are a beautiful woman. Most importantly you care about your friends, you take time for people and you are kind. Looks never ever beat that.

I love you and I hope hope HOPE that coming to ATL works out because I can't waiy to hang out with you. Love you, friend!

P!nky said...

Yes, MALL MADNESSS!!

Okay, I got so much more out of that post than MM, but that definitely caught my attention. It's really hard not to compare and here in DC everyone is soooo chic and so Pure Barre in shape and so funky fresh and here I am lil athletic girl with no shape and looking like a high schooler.

You are so in shape it isn't even funny and you have the best personality. this post reminds me of the quote "why spend so much time trying to fit in, when you were born to STAND OUT"! Be bold and beautiful lady, you are fabulous!

The Pink Growl said...

I've been struggling with this lately too. Knoxville is much smaller than Atlanta, but I don't think living in any city (even the smallest ones like where we grew up) are free from this comparison game. I can get down on myself with the very best of them. But I find that when I do, I kinda start to believe that BS that I'm telling myself. And that hurts!!! You are awesome sister! And you are beautiful and tiny :) You are MORE THAN ENOUGH! XOXOXOXOX