Tuesday, September 10, 2013

On advice and rule-following

I am, by nature, a rule follower.
Seatbelt wearer
Expiration date abider
Yellow light braker

About the most devious thing I've ever done was sneaking out of nosebleeds down to box seats during the 4th inning of a White Sox baseball game with a boyfriend. On our climb down we rehearsed the plan over and over. I remember his words very clearly “Just walk in. If you act like you know what you’re doing, people will believe it.”
 Apparently “just act like you know what you’re doing” rendered in my mind as act like you know what you’re doing until you see the box seat’s security guard, then hesitate right before you reach him with a look on your face like you might possibly need to confess to murder, and then continue to look back over your shoulder all nervous-like after your boyfriend grabs you by the hand and hustles you down the breezeway. 

Moral of the story…I will never be the Bonnie to anyone’s Clyde.
But today….I am breaking the rules. And that would be the rules of Blogtober. Some days I’m just a real vagabond    

Day 4 was supposed to be “Pass on some useful advice”….and here we are on day 10 where I will expound on said useful advice.And that would be advice for relationships that I read from a book awhile back and have carried with me (paraphrased by yours truly)

 #1 - Don’t take an hour to get ready – I am the biggest proponent for not looking like a slob-kabob in front of your man, especially when you reach that comfortable stage in your relationship where it’s so easy to reach for those XL sweatpants that could house you and two of your friends and one of his old t-shirts. But on the flip side, unless you are headed out for a special occasion, if your man can watch an entire episode of Breaking Bad and still be waiting on you to be dinner-ready, you need to speed up your routine. 

#2 - Don’t try to change them – If a guy is no longer living under his mama’s roof, I can tell you that his patterns are probably pretty established. So you nagging him to put the seat down, turn the light off when he leaves the room or pick his dirty undies up off the floor is probably falling on deaf ears. Either pick it up and get over it or learn to be down with his once-a-month cleaning ritual. ….unless he’s creating bombs in the basement or planning on streaking at your nephew’s soccer game, don’t try to change him. 
#3 - Don’t Fight in Public – Really ladies, while you might feel validated by all the passers-by looks, you should know that in their head they probably feel more sorry for your boyfriend ..and he is probably looking for the nearest exit off the crazy train. Guys don't dig the drama. Learn to fight civil….and in private.
#4 - Curb the girl talk – I think we’ve all been there (and should I stand alone at the end of this one…I’m just going to crawl in the corner and die)...You spot the cute boy across the way at the gym, bar, whatever your scene is and decide to loudly recount the details of  your “Ughhmmaazzzziiinngg” night out last night and how “UGH-Freaking-Dorbs” your outfit was to your girlfriend. I mean obviously he will see how WAY fun you are right? Wrong……….Dude across the way probably sees you as loud, annoying and a dead ringer for someone who would embarrass him in front of his friends. Love fern anyone? 
I talk a lot on here about how boys these days are not gentlemen so I thought I’d take a ride on the other side today and share my advice from one female to another. 

XO, Bonnie A


Cori @ Everyday Enchanted said...

I am such a rule follower! It's actually quite sad.

This is some good advice! :)

Vickie said...

Love this advice! I can completely agree with number #2. I've picked up way too many pairs of socks on the floor and empty cereal bowls off of the table but what can ya do!

ilene @ muchloveilly said...

oh goodness - i meant to start blogtember and never got around to it. so i maybe be breaking rules right along with you sometime this month!

and girl, i'm the same way about rule-following. i've done that before at a baseball game and broke out in complete sweat and it was not the chicago heat. eeek!

Fit With Flash said...

#3 IS SO IMPORTANT. I hate publicly fighting couples and especially the chicks that yell at their dudes in front of everybody. He can't yell back of course, because he'll look mean and abusive so he takes it as to not get the police called on him. Chicks like that look nothing but crazy and immature. #redflag

CheapRunnerMichelle said...

I couldn't agree more with everything you have said!

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

Ugh. Fighting in public. Cringe.

Sara Louise said...

You my friend are wise like Yoda.

Unknown said...

You definitely give some great advice. I'm a huge advocate on not fighting in public and not taking too long to get ready! I'm not going to lie though, I could use some work in a few of the other areas.

Angel said...

haha i love these! these will be put to good use hopefully before i finish medical school. ;)