Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Prospects

The fact that I'm writing about The Bachelorette today was about as predictable as Christmas.
Sorry for all you non-bachelorette fans ....love me through it!

Today we're talking about the men of the Bachelorette. Please weigh in - the rule on this blog is:
the more opinions the better.

Ryan P. - Hot, yet not metro, entrepreneur and passionate about his business AND the first guy to step up and steal Ashley away....He gets my first impression rose for sure. (And I swear I wrote this before Ashley even gave him hers) He's a bar-setter.

Chris D. - Dear Chris - you called your mom during the first 2 minutes of meeting me. You are a girl's worst nightmare. TTYN (talk to you never). Love, Ashley

Jeff - The fact that you wore a mask to meet Ashley makes me think you have a history as a bank robber, moonlight as Eric from Phantom of the Opera or just had a really big zit that day...I secretly love that every guy in the house made fun of you and made you feel uncomfortable #meangirl


Ben F. - You look like a hobbit.And you make wine. I imagine when you're not on TV you walk around wearing blousy muslin shirts and man-pri.

Bentley - I was down with this guy until I learned that he named his daughter "Cozy." Your parents named you after a cool car and you name your daughter after something you put your beer in? Not cool dude.


Anthony - I think he posed for ever Disney prince ever drawn. 


Ames - You have visited 70 countries and run 30 marathons and ultra marathons. I don't even know what the heck an Ultra-marathon is but Ames- you're ultra for doing it. 

Constantine - This is the representative we send from Atlanta? - "Where the players play." Girls - I think it's pretty clear I'm going to need all your prayers I can get! ;)


William - "All of my loves were able to move on directly after me. I was their stepping stone to happiness." Hi William - you are the male version of me, therefore I love you. 


Frank - Frank originally applied to be on the Bachelor but they just weren't ready to take the show there yet.

Mickey - Hey Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind.".... Hey Mickey - 1982 called - it wants it's song back....and it's hair 

Tim - I felt so bad for you because you were 9,000 shades of horribly awkward when you met Ashley but then I saw this pic of you with your manjewelry and  my sympathy took off with your necklace to meet Bob Marley's neck where it belongs. Oh and we found out that Tim is a liquor distributor - and his profits after personal consumption are about 1% #winner
As promised with The  Bachelor last t season.....I'll keep my Bachelorette commentary posts to a minimum...unless something terrifically juicy happens - and then I just can't help myself.

WHO IS YOUR PICK?!

31 comments:

Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jana said...

I LOVE it! Couldn't have said it better myself. I totally agree... I am team William. He is so freaking cute and the rest...well not so much. and he's funny. The whole umbrella thing was hillarious and I so agree, every guy I date, miraculously finds the love of his life next... I would be mad it I was her, there aren't that many great dudes. Maybe we should apply to be on the show next year and William will be the Bachelor. I mean, I don't see them really getting together....right?? and LOL at the Disney prince comment. So glad we can add this to our list of things to chat about :-)

Ashley said...

My picks are Ryan P. and especially William because he is from OH-IO! Love the bachelor/bachelorette too! Can't wait for the rest of the season!

Jana said...

oh and I was sooo wondering why Possessionista didn't say anything about the name 'Cozy' last night... I mean really??? and have you heard that the mother-in-law of the guy whose wife had a siezure and died in the bathroom says he murdrered her?!?

Sandy a la Mode said...

i haven't seen the show in forever and it was comical to watch it again!! i am disgusted with bentley and the stuff you see in the previews for later! i don't have a fave just yet though!

Beth said...

i do not watch the bachelorette but i thought your commentary on this guy's was so funny. and based on what you said and the pics of the guys...i'm going with William as my choice. :)

Young and Fabulous said...

OMG I couldnt remember the mask guys name because I wanted to google him and see what he really looked like! He was a weirdo! haha I wanted drunk Tim to rip that off his face!

Ryan P...mmmm mmmm finger lickin good!

the name Cozy. YUCK

Upon seeing Constantine, I am second guessing my trip to see you and stalk hot men! haha jkjk

I think if Ames and Ashley don't hit it up, you should be his next Ashley...ya know, cuz ya run marathons and what not! ;)

xoxo

Katie said...

William lives in the suburb next to me...so my vote is for him!!!! and besides, he does have the name William which is my hubby's name. ha. I do like West though too that you didn't mention on here..his wife died from a seizure and he seems like he's there for Ashley. xoxo

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

trying to not get sucked in this season...but william is just too cute.

Ashley said...

Dang it, I missed it! Thank you for filling me in on the details for the prospects! lol.

ilene @ muchloveilly said...

totally want to catch up on hulu! if i can't, i'll be following up on your posts and tweets. even though i didn't watch the show last night, this post was too hilarious!

Jenna said...

Haha I haven't watched any episodes from this season (night classes are ruining my life), but this is still hilarious to me!

xoxo
Jenna

natasha {schue love} said...

OMG! Love your recap! I definitely love Ryan P and William...I was sad she sent Jon home...seemed premature, especially with some of the other guys she kept! Can't wait to see the season unfold! :)

Rissy said...

bahahahaha ok I still want to marry Bentley... although I heard he makes comments like "I'd be into her if she was Emily" ouch!

The first guy was precious as is William. Umm I think I like dirty blonde hair and blue eyes... can ya tell?

And holy guacamole! the mask guy's headshot is even creepy. Who can look creepy in a headshot?!

CarissaExplainsItAll

RLW said...

WILL-YUM

is more like it ;)

Looking forward to this season as well!!

lisa elizabeth said...

I love William, Ryan P and the dentist!!!! They seem pretty normal. Love your comments. Hilarious!

Lindsay @ My Happily Ever After said...

I don't watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette...shocking, I know!

But is it just me or does Ryan P. kinda look like Matthew Morrison from Glee?

Tiffany said...

I'm not watching this season, but your comments were hilarious and better than the show itself! I will keep up through your blog! :)

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

amber said...

I am not sure who I am rooting for yet. But I for sure got sucked in quickly this season! lol can't wait to see how it unfolds :)

Abby said...

This pretty much made my day. YOU ARE HILARIOUS! please keep writing about this show, I love your perspective. I thought it was so great, I wrote about your post on my blog today!

Shannon said...

BEST POST EVER (besides the one you wrote about me:) However, I'm a little upset you left out West!!

Sarah said...

Will your opinion of me change if I tell you that I can't stand this show or any shows of the like? Lol

Megan said...

Hahahaha. I absolutely LOVED this recap because I missed the show! Ahhhhh!! I'm voting for Ryan and William. Adorable. : )

Sundresses and Smiles said...

Hehehe, I love this post!! I have to rewatch online because my friends had trouble staying focused on the show, but from what I did watch, I had lots of similar impressions as you! The "COZY" name killed me!! I also am a big fan of Ryan and also West, but after the limo scene we didn't pay much attention!!

Sara Louise said...

Holy crap I am laughing my ass off right now. Seriously, I am having my morning coffee and chuckling like a mad woman while my dog is staring at me.
I love every line in this post so much, but this one might be my favorite:
"I imagine when you're not on TV you walk around wearing blousy muslin shirts and man-pri"
Genius!

Kasey Lynne said...

LOLOLOL oh my gosh...all of your captions are HILARIOUS!!! All of them need to go except Ryan P.

Sara said...

Hahahaha!! Awesome recap! So, a friend of mine told me last weekend that her friend "Jeff" was going to be on the Bachelorette. She did NOT mention that he'd be wearing a mask and acting like a complete tool. Oh Jeff, way to give St. Louis a bad rep...again. :)

Chelsea said...

i'm watching it now... finally!!!! only a couple of minutes in.... but honestly... not sure how i feel about Ashley. not you ashley, but bachelorette Ashley! i'm hoping that changes.

Kayla said...

Ryan P., WIlliam, West and Blake,and J.P. are my favorites! One of them has to end up with her I mean so far I like a third of them! This was a great post! Can't wait to talk more about the season!

Nikki said...

I agree with Chelsea on my feelings for Ashley. I'll watch but not sold on her. And I'm so glad someone else mentioned JP (Thanks Kayla)! My favs are Ryan P & JP!

Michelle said...

I love Ryan and William! I love your recap! Your commentary is not only funny but right on! Please keep it coming ;) Can't wait to watch more :)