Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Going all SJP

I decided to share something from my personal journal today. Yes I have a journal and I blog – I like to write apparently. Or I should say my electronic journal – gah, I’m so 3010. This entry was not spawn from anything that happened personally. It’s just what I was thinking on a few weeks ago.

As SJP would say, I got to thinking about relationships today. It happened after I left the mall. I was leaving the Forever 21 walking past the food court when I spotted the cutest couple – perfectly suited – not one of those mismatched couples where you wonder “how did THAT happen?” I was reflecting on how cute they were; making up stories in my mind about how they met, how long they’d been dating, etc…. when I saw the Mr. catch a glimpse of a spicy little female…..and follow her with his gaze. The girlfriend was busy texting and talking; unawares her comments were falling on deaf ears. This was not the kind of look like “holy cow did you see that woman wearing a neon fannypack?!” It was the kind of look that should have the spy who shagged me soundtrack playing in the background.

It got me thinking that there seems to be no lasting-ness to relationships anymore. Is that a word? The red squiggle underneath is telling me no but I’m going with it anyway. Does anyone want to be tied down with just one person anymore? It seems to me there’s a lot of boyfriended men with “hungry eyes” out there.A whole lot of “better option” syndrome going around. It makes me wonder if there are still men out there that think you ARE the better option? Any relationships where the people never get tired of doing the same ‘ol together…and in fact enjoy coming home to their person?


Of course the answer is yes. I know this. I’ve experienced this. It just makes me sad that it seems there’s less and less of pure, simple, fearless love these days.

I completely hate unresolved stories…..I so want to end this that the mall couple – “lived happily ever after.” But lately I’m thinking they lived happily after until he saw a hot girl...and then he ran away.
To fearless love. XO, A

In case you’re wondering, yes....yes I always write about such intense thought-provoking subjects like this in my journal and I always sign them in ridiculously cheesy ways. I’m a regular Anne Frank. Only kidding.

 But joking aside I do love reading about the men in your lives –Makes my day when I read about Mr. Mackey’s patience or see JB cheesin at Sarah behind the camera or read just how passionately Lauren loves her Tedward.
So what’s your take? Lots of honest-to-goodness love left in the world or is everyone in it to play bachelor pad games?


*Allie* said...

Hmm I really like this post.

My husband and I have been one of those "cute couples" for a long time now. I'm not sure about the mall couple, but as someone who has been in a 6+ year relationship, my policy is that we are both always going to see other people who are attractive. What's important is that at the end of the day, we are totally in love with each other, and we choose to be with each other, no one else :-)

Shannon said...

Wow - thought provoking.

It took me a long time to find Mr. Right and I didn't get married until last year at age 30.

But I found true love. I believe that with 100% of my being. I have "happily ever after".

Sometimes it is totally worth the wait.

megan said...

As cheesy as it sounds, I never thought I would find a guy who only had eyes for me, until I met Cameron. Sure, he lets me know Carrie Underwood is hot, but I totally agree with him. I never ever think twice about him going out with his guys friends and it is SO reassuring.

Ashley said...

I really like this post. And, I really like the fact the you have your own personal journal...you're a great writer! I'd like to think that there is a special someone out there for everyone, but most of us miss out bc were so busy looking rather than letting God direct our foot steps and allow the "perfect" person come into our lives. I'm a hopeless romantic and love the idea of being in love. Call me cheesy...lol.

ilene @ muchloveilly said...

sadly what you wrote is so true. i don't think its common that real relationships exists - but i believe that they DO exist...just rare.

i've been in a relationship before where the dude totally had the wandering eye - and so i can say i've been there and it suuuuucks.

but the opposite end is incredible - and i feel beyond blessed to have a man like Ryan who tells me that his eyes are only on me.

though i had to wait for him to come along, i'm so glad i did. :)

p.s. loved the first photo of joseph and the library card line - ha!

Lindsey said...

well i've yet to find mr. right, so great question. Good guys exist, I just haven't met one. Well, I probably have, but they were probably "too nice". That's the problem.

Rissy said...

I hate to say it love, but I worry about the same thing sometimes.

I think that is a "me" thing though because I tend to shy away from guys who seem ready to be a one woman guy and settle down. Lady isn't ready for all that (subconsciously) I guess.

Oh I do love this post.

And... I get really peeved when couples are shopping or dining together and you can feel the guy checking YOU out. I always want to be like "hey you! eyes on her!"


Beth said...

good guys are out there...i think you just have to be ready to find them.

i've been single for so long i don't know if i would know whwat to do if i had a boyfriend.

maybe it's low self esteem or just being lonely, but i always find myself texting or getting back in touch with the wrong guys. just so i can have that companionship. like i know they aren't good for me, but in the meantime while i'm still waiting might as well. right? is that so bad?

p.s. can you please sign your next journal entry with "sad sparrow"?

Stefany said...

I really, really like this post. Sad part is, the poor girl doesn't know her man was oogling at another lady. I wanna think I found the man I want to spend a very long time with but who knows what might happen down the road. He's never given me any reason to doubt him in the last 4 years but I am only 21. Life can throw whatever it wants at us within the next couple of years though. As harsh as that might sound, I'm still a hopeless romantic. We still plan silly things together (like what color our future couch will be) and I still imagine it being him that's waiting for me at the altar. *fingers crossed* :)

jayme said...

hello there deep, philosophical ash. i'm shallow-but-got-lucky-with-a-gentleman jayme. just thought we should be re-introduced there.

i've always been iffy about the whole relationship thing and if forever really is forever but i gotta tell ya, all that iffy-ness (a word or no?) was gone once i fell for my beau. there's no insecurities, no questions, no uncertainties. it's pure, innocent, full of fun, and even if he did have hungry eyes, it would be the first flaw i could find of him, but i'm sure he doesn't.

so there's the sappy side of me, it's all you're going to get. :)

xo love, missed you bunches while i've been gone!!!

Molly said...

There are still good guys! I'll say they're a lot harder to find than the bad ones though :)

Michelle said...

I wonder the same thing too! I do believe true love is out there and I just think when you look for it you don't find it. When you least expect it, it will come! :)
XOXO, Pumpkinhead ;)

Suze said...

Awe love this post!

you will find a good guy in Gods perfect timing and he will love you for you and only want you!
In mean time, enjoy having time just for YOU and getting to do what you want without a beau in the picture ;)

theres my random thought for the day on your post for what its worth ;)

Tucker said...

JB is such a ham (: !!

I felt the same way before i met JB. I was not always very kind toward guys before then because i saw so many jerks. But they are out there!! I'm glad you know that (:

angel glover. said...

aww, i love this! gives me sooo many things to look forward too. ;)

natasha {schue love} said...

Interesting post! I think people, by nature, are more animalistic than society wants to believe. But I also whole-heartedly believe two people can be in love and never look back. It's all about compromise and being honest...as long as you respect each other, you'll do just fine. :)

Megan said...

True love is DEFINITELY out there! I think the problem is that people settle too soon. They don't wait for the person that God has for them to marry. That's my biggest advice: WAIT for God to show you who is supposed to be your husband/wife!! Pray about it!

Jenna said...

This one is a toughy and the subject often gets me down... but I have definitely witnessed couples who I think are perfect for eachother and who seem to complete eachothers sentences.

Jurgen and I are not that way... were pretty opposite, but we love eachother, we enjoy spending time together and were both willing to compromise on certain things to make it work.


Tatiana said...

Love this post Ash! Honest to goodness.
I definitely believe that there are good guys out there. I'm living that testimony. I also believe that that there are many sleazeballs out there who would cheat on you right under your nose while you're dating them (I lived that too.)
But I truly believe that letting God lead you is the best way to go. He does have someone special for you, and sometimes, as hard as it is, we just need to have patience and wait for it :-) I know. Easier said than done, but it's true.

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

this is such a lovely post. there are a few good ones left, have hope :)

Katie said...

you're so right! It seems like no one's in it for the long haul anymore...but I promise there are some good ones left! :)

Sundresses and Smiles said...

I couldn't agree more! I worry that when I do find that someone and get married, maybe I'll wind up divorced (not because of self-confidence issues or poor parental models or anything like that), just because of this very trend. A few weeks ago a friend of mine gave a guy she had been pretty much dating a while an ultimatum, saying that she wanted exclusivity. His response was that he would be exclusive but was still going to talk to other girls in case something came along-- EXCUSE ME?!?!? She ended it then, but I'm just shocked by this and see it a ton, especially in college aged boys. On a funnier note, loved your Anne Frank comment, I found an old middle school journal a while back, and in the beginning I did this huge introduction of myself with my full name, etc and explained that I would put everyone I mentioned's full names, just in case it were ever published, like Anne Frank, ha!

Karolyn said...

I loved your post today, I wonder the same thing. I get more annoyed when I see couples and they just take each other for granted, because it is hard out there to find truth, respect, and true love...but I believe that it is out there. Reading some of the comments, the key is believing. Lifetime love will come along...for me I pray someday sooner than later. Thanks for sharing today!

Lindsay @ My Happily Ever After said...

Awesome post! I am the first of my friends to get married and find "the one" so I talk a lot about relationships and guy drama with all my single girlfriends.

Whenever they tell me about the jerks they've been seeing I always say the same thing "you're looking for ONE person out of millions. it only takes ONE, and that's what you're looking for. ONE person will change your life, the rest won't." I really believe that. I'm not worried about my husband having a wandering eye because we both agree that we're the best either of us could do :)

Maddie said...

Great post! I love your blog, new follower :) And my opinion is that there's a lot of both, I guess. Good relationships, lasting love but then there's divorce, breakups, etc. I also think it's important to remember that no relationship is perfect. They all have ups and downs, I know I do with my boyfriend. But a wandering eye is different, I couldn't be with a guy like that but maybe some girls looks past it??!

Val said...

I truly loved this post!!!

Katie said...

This makes me sad