Friday, October 29, 2010

Pumping Iron Like I'm Mrs. Schwarzenegger

Let's talk about the gym. You know how when you first start going somewhere new, you feel like you stick out like a knockoff in a Louis Vuitton store? And then once you start going you begin to recognize the same people who share your gym schedule and you can spot the newbies instead of being one? Well, I've been going to my gym for about two months now and am finally past the newbie phase. I really like it there and it's in the perfect location on my way home from work.

First, I have to talk about the clothes. All of the following are unacceptable gym wear yet have been seen on more than one occasion: full-on jeans, jorts, a vote for pedro t-shirt, work boots, dockers pants & a polo, a turtleneck paired w/v-neck sweater, high-tops and (my personal favorite) the t-shirt tucked into elastic-waste spandex. And I can’t forget the couple in full-on KISS clothes, hair & makeup the other day. Apparently they had a severe case of the “I don’t wanna grow-ups” and brought Halloween to the gym!

And let's not forget Mr. Extra Sweaty Man. This guy is intense! His calves look like mini tree trunks and he's prone to wearing tube socks with his tennies. But I have a major beef with Mr. Extra Sweaty Man. He refuses to wipe the machines down after use! He may literally be the sweatiest man in the gym, his clothes nearly drenched by the time he's done and he just bounces from one machine to the next. Hey Mr. Extra Sweaty Man - we are all judging you for your unsanitary ways!

When you sign up for the gym you get a "free" training session with one of their personal trainers. I thought I had slipped under the radar but I was wrong. Trust me, if you haven't taken advantage of your session you're like a sitting duck with a target on its back. After I changed and was heading toward the cardio deck about a week ago, one of the trainers came and introduced himself. I heard myself say "no thanks" to the training session about 5 times but somehow found myself signed up for Thursday at 6pm. Weird.

I had successfully dodged a Saturday attempt to schedule said session with a spikey-haired, wife-beater wearing trainer who was so full of himself I think he can survive off his own awesomeness....and possibly hair gel. (I haven't seen him since though....I think he was fired for being flamboyantly arrogant)...The reason I am so opposed to this training session is because of a horrifying experience I had during a training session where I was awkwardly forced to stand on yoga balls and pull weights. I have the balance of a Weeble person. It did not go well.

So last night was the big "pumping iron" sesh with my trainer "Chris" who happens to be 6 foot 6" tall with waste-long dredlocks. Yikes! It ended up being a good session. No awkward balancing or lunges in the middle of the weight deck and I learned how to use a lot of the machines. Of course anything that involves me using my arms is out of the question today but, I'd say it was overall successful.

Except for our mini-consultation before. Trainer chris tells me that my "goal BMI" should be 15%. I totally left feeling like a swiss cake roll on legs. But after talking to my friend who happens to be in med school, she told me that 15% is considered borderline anorexic. Oh Trainer Chris with your long-dreds.. you are a punk!

1 comment:

Kayla said...

Ha! I totally just wrote a blog post about my own weight concerns and then read this. Totally a punk!!!! Please keep your BMI at 18 or above!!!