Thursday, September 23, 2010

Zero Days. New Promises

I've had this "Google Countdown" feature on my iGoogle home page for over a year now. It didn't have a title (since it was on my work computer and needed to remain inconspicuous)...it was simply titled as "!!" But those two exclamation points stood for so much. They stood for a new adventure in a new city. New possibilities and a new career with new hopes and dreams. That counter hovered in the 400s for what seemed like an eternity. I remember busting into Katie's office (remember her), the day it hit 365 days and her telling me how fast those days would likely fly by. She was wrong...they drug on!
On the day the counter reached 101 days, I got a letter. It was the letter telling me I did not make it into the sonography program I had been preparing for. The one I'd been counting down to. The one I'd suffered through months of physics, anatomy, physiology and terminology for..."burning the candle at both ends" as I would come home from work and spend countless hours and most of my weekends studying. That day could be described as nothing less than one of those "wide-awake-in-the-middle-of-your-nightmare" moments.

So today the counter reached 0. And yes, I am sad. Sad that I'm not one of the eight hopefuls that made it into the program. Sad that I'm not living in Atlanta getting ready to don my burgundy Grady scrubs and head into class or clinic. Sad that all those hopes and dreams are still hopes and dreams.

This is, again, one of those bigger things in life that I don't understand the "why" too. But I know that for some reason, Beaufort is where I need to be for now. I know God's timing is perfect.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lam. 3:22-23

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