Friday, October 30, 2009

a note on cankles

so a week ago i was attacked by a ferocious spider. i have no idea what kind. i have no clue as to when.

all i know is that whatever bit me is currently kicking my butt and has been for a week now. i swear, if i ever come face-to-face with another "8-legged assailant" - i will look down at it and yell "I GIVE IN - YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY SEASONS OF DR QUINN, TAKE MY SEVEN "GOOD BUTT" JEANS," RID THE EARTH OF CHOCOLATE...JUST DON'T BITE ME AGAIN!"

the result of this bite wasn't your usual allergic reaction. two days after my shock and awe attack my ankles swelled to the size that would certainly support the weight of an elephant. my ankle bones seemed to have gone into hybernation. there was your usual shortness of breath and headache but then there was not the not-so-normal underarm bruises. very odd. i can envision my little attacker chuckling in his web at the horror on my face when i first spotted the bruises.

you'll be happy to know that i've almost made a full recovery - however, i've come to the vain realization that i'd almost rather be sick than have another cankle attack. my wardrobe was very limited for that week - no skirts! - and every time I looked down it made me want to rush to the freezer and ditch the Ben n Jerrys.

thank god my ankle bones have decided to come back out and participate in halloween festivites!

1 comment:

Katie said...

I may have (mute) chuckled at this. I totally have cankles. It's an issue. One of my many issues obviously.