Friday, September 25, 2009

wasting life

"Ashley, Ashley, Ashley...what are we going to do with you?" That is how my morning's conversation started out with the VP of our company.

But this morning I asked him "What do you mean?" And he replied "Well I just think you're this fantastic, beautiful, talented lady and you're just sitting in this town wasting your life in this job. You're just truly fantastic and I think you should be using your talents on bigger things elsewhere." While I definitely appreciate the sweet compliments, his comments got me thinking and more than a little ancy. I have this "plan" I'm working towards all the while "keeping my options open" as my mom likes to say. But after hearing that, I have to admit I felt a little stressed that the clock was ticking. Not that I think I'm this "fantastic talented lady" with things to offer the world like he claims I am but maybe I need to be more aggressive in getting out of this little town.

I feel the pressure to move;I'm so ready! But I've been waiting patiently, working on this desire thinking it's God's plan to teach me patience and contenment. But should I just be bold and make a move to a new city and find something that way? Should I leave the whole sonography dream behind and pursue the big PR career I've wanted. In my mind I've been thinking all the things I want are just going to fall into place when and if I go to vandy. But what if they don't? What if it's a hard struggle there too?

Ultimately I know God's in control, I just don't want to get stuck being patient and truly waste my life. I don't really have a resolution to this post - I feel like all posts are mini-stories and should have a happy ending or a moral to the story or something...but I'm a little perplexed today over the future.

1 comment:

Kayla said...

whatever you choose. Wherever God leads you, you know that you have so many people who love and support you!!!